Ditch the stress
Written By Heather McPherson
We all have those moments. Those moments where we just aren’t in the mood, or feel like something is “off”, or maybe worse, we feel completely overwhelmed by it all. It’s always good to be sure we are taking time to process exactly what these feelings are. Where are they coming from? What do they mean? And better yet…..Can I change them if I don’t like them? We can do this through an EBT (Emotional Brain Training) Daily Check In.
You see our brains are amazing little creatures. They believe everything we tell them. They believe what we show them. Think Virtual Reality for a minute - Close your eyes. You’re standing there. At the top of the Grand Canyon! The wind is blowing through your hair, the fresh air running through your lungs. You can see the river flowing at the bottom and you can hear the birds. Your body actually feels as though you’re standing on that cliff, because that is what your eyes are seeing! If it’s a duck, it must be a duck, right?? Maybe! :)
Queue our EBT Check in! Our brain believes it because that is what our eyes are seeing and what our ears are hearing. The same concept applies to how we talk to ourselves and how we handle or deal with stressful situations. The great part is, no matter what your brain thinks is happening right now, we can change that! And here’s how:
To start, take a deep breath, and simply check in with your feelings.
Ask yourself: Right now, what is my stress level?
Am I:
State 1: Feeling Great?
State 2: Feeling Good
State 3: Feeling A Little Stressed
State 4: Feeling Definitely Stressed
State 5: Feeling Stressed Out
Next select one of the following options:
1. If you choose to simply accept your current state, you can simply scroll to the bottom.
2. If you would like to apply one of the tools listed for your stage, simply scroll to the corresponding stage tool.
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State 1: Feeling Great?
Sanctuary Tool - Let’s deepen and strengthen that state of being present and with joy!
Take a deep breath.
Maintain a good posture.
Lovingly observe yourself.
Connect with your sanctuary, the safe place within.
Feel a wave of compassion for yourself.
Feel a wave of compassion for others.
Feel a wave of compassion for all living beings.
Feel a surge of JOY!
When you have finished scroll to the bottom.
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State 2: Feeling Good
Feelings Check Tool - You are aware of your positive and negative feelings which means you aren’t far from Stage 1! Let’s use the Feelings Check to get you there!
Ask yourself, how do I feel?
Angry, Sad, Afraid, Guilty, Tense, Tired, Hungry, Full, Lonely, Sick, Grateful, Happy, Secure, Proud, Relaxed, Rested, Satisfied, Loved, Loving, Healthy (Select three)
Which of these is my strongest feeling?
Your strongest feeling points to your most important need.
What do I need?
What is my corresponding need?
Do I need support?
To meet that need what support could I ask for?
When you have finished scroll to the bottom.
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State 3: Feeling A Little Stressed
Emotional Housecleaning - You are a little stressed. Let’s use Emotional Housecleaning to clear away the negative feelings and become more aware of the positive feelings that are under them.
Complete the following sentences:
I feel angry that...
I feel sad that...
I feel afraid that...
I feel guilty that I...
I feel grateful that...
I feel happy that...
I feel secure that...
I feel proud that I . . .
When you have finished scroll to the bottom.
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State 4: Feeling Definitely Stressed
Cycle Tool - You are definitely stressed. This is a moment of opportunity to weaken stress circuits and to build circuits that bring you joy.
Just the Facts…
State the facts about why you are feeling stressed. No feelings just facts. Continue until your feelings become very strong, then continue on. This stress offers a moment of opportunity to change the way you process the daily stress of life. Begin the Natural Flow of Feelings. Express your feelings strongly for optimal rewiring. Feel your anger in your body, and then express it, using short, choppy statements (e.g., I feel ANGRY that… I CAN’T STAND it that… I hate it that…)
I feel ANGRY that…
I feel SAD that…
I feel AFRAID that…
I feel GUILTY that I…
My unreasonable expectation is…
An unreasonable expectation is an old circuit that was encoded early in life or later on during stress. Once you know what it is, you can begin rewriting it!
My reasonable expectation is…
The new circuit is the opposite of the old one (e.g. “I have to be perfect” becomes “I do not have to be perfect.”).
Your brain is very open to change now.
This is a moment of opportunity!
Say (aloud or to yourself) your new expectation 10 times.
When you have finished scroll to the bottom.
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State 5: Feeling Stressed Out
Damage Control Tool - You are in Brain State 5, stressed out. Let’s use a nurturing inner voice and repetition to quiet that circuit and to ease your stress.
Say the following three lines over and over to yourself until you feel your stress fading.
Do not judge. (I will not judge myself. I will not judge others.)
Minimize harm.
Know it will pass.
(Repeat)
When you feel the stress fading scroll to the bottom.
CONGRATULATIONS! You Have Completed an EBT Check In!
Feel a surge of Joy! Each time you disrupt your current pattern of processing the daily stress life you are improving the way your brain works.
Keep up the great work!
Be Fearless - Be Free - Be YOU!